Keep Pittsburgh Weird

As you are no doubt aware, I think Keep Austin Weird is misguided, smug, self-conscious, and counter-productive. I don’t need to belabor that point any further I’m sure. But remember in that high school personality parade, how there were two kinds of “weird?” 

The kind that was in-your-face weird, constantly declaring the names of underground-y bands they wanted to see, showing off each kitschy accessory like it was a Daytime Emmy (“Oh my god, can you even believe I have a Hello Kitty watch?! I’m like 16! That’s crazy! I’m always just so weird like that!”). And the heterogenous kind of oddballs that were just, well, weird. The theater kids, the artists, the junior engineering society members, the drumline. The ones who were just being themselves, and didn’t have to make such a big ol’ deal about it.

Pittsburgh is just being itself. And it’s hilarious. And weird. And I love it.

What’s your favorite strange thing about Pittsburgh?

Also, Cat got a new photo for Cat’s Call as of yesterday. Verdict: all her power was in her eyeliner! She pulls her punches now – bummer.

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Don’t read this

Read this! (Woy is hosting surprise guest blogger PittGirl – aka Jane Pitt – this week) (Why are you still reading this?) (Though it’s hard to escape noticing that for someone who wanted to disappear from public view, PittGirl has had a lot of surprise reappearances…) (She should just come back permanently. Stop taunting us, PittGirl!) 

Or read this! (Cat is even more cutting with her advice-seekers than usual – fun!)

Or read this! (Weird but satisfactory “post-game analysis” of the Madden 09 simulated Super Bowl XLIII played last week by some computer)

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Rubber penises and other internet fun

1.  Front-page news at the Post-Gazette today includes this riveting story about two guys in California who sold a “device” to try to fool drug tests – they have been brought down by a federal court in Pittsburgh.  I wasn’t clear on how these dudes ended up on the radar of the Western Pennsylvania Federal District Court, until I recalled this fantastically entertaining episode from 2006 – the rubber penis in the GetGo microwave caper.  That was fun, wasn’t it?  If I recall correctly, I was stuck in traffic that day on the Parkway West when they thought it was an actual human body part and they were cordoning off the area and so forth.  I think we should learn more about this fascinating chapter in Pittsburgh history, yes?

Part of the settlement agreement reached with the couple who committed the act involved replacement of the microwave – so anyone concerned about the McKeesport GetGo microwave still having traces of human urine or hot fake penis device needn’t worry.

Also, this was apparently a story of international interest, as this article from the UK wryly demonstrates.  Okay look, if we’re worried about Pittsburgh’s image around the world, we should definitely focus less on what percentage of ‘Burghers smoke cigarettes and more on keeping our rubber penis tales under wraps.

2.  Cat is in rare form today, laying down some tough love for cheaters and cheatees.  Do you think the source of her secret power is in her eyeliner?

3.  Good morning, Mr. Grumpy-Pants.  So, Mr. Seate apparently didn’t like PittGirl.  Fine, not everyone has to like everyone else.  And since her archives are unavailable, I am unable to verify that she did or did not refer to Mr. Seate in conjunction with any excretory organs, but experience suggests that she probably did, and it was probably hilarious.  Guess he didn’t get the joke.  But what’s awesome about this column is the total lack of self-awareness.  He asserts that the purpose of blogging is to “mock” real journalists like himself and that blogs are pointless.  So what are we to make of this:

Several local blogs have shut down in recent months, including mine, which was as inane and self-indulgent as they come.

Thanks, Captain Pointless.

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Redskins Rule

As you are no doubt aware, the outcome of the last Washington Redskins home game prior to a presidential election predicts the result.  A Redskins loss means that the incumbent party will lose the White House – so hopefully Barack Obama has already called Coach Tomlin to thank him for the fabulous thumping the Steelers administered to the ‘Skins.  We watched the game last night with Pittsburgh Friends (PF’s) and PFs’ Pittsburgh Friend (a Pretty Cool Chick, henceforth known as PCC) and were honored to realize that a historic presidential candidate was likely rooting for the Stillers right along with us.

Also, OMG did you see Byron Leftwich???  He totally earned a “The.”  The Byron kicked some pretty damn serious ass.  Little passes, BIG passes, hilariously effective play-action fakes – nice hustle, kid [pats buttock].  It was also fun to watch Jason Campbell not be able to stay upright and get intercepted for the first time this season, and Clinton Portis get held to less than half his average yardage for the previous 8 games.  I love defense.  I think Portis said it best:

We were hoping to go out and play our football, play smash-mouth football.  Instead, we got smashed.

Sweet.

In other news:  Happy Cat’s Call day!

And GO VOTE!  Do it do it do it doitdoitdoitdoitdoit!!

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Reasons you’re glad you live in Pittsburgh #2: Cat kicks Abby’s butt

I love Tuesday.  I love Tuesday because that’s the day the new Cat’s Call appears in the PG.  Why do I eagerly await her advice every week?  Because she kicks ass.  She picks questions that make the questioner look like a jerk, then calls them on being a jerk.  Other advice columns are full of questions about friends’ and stepchildren’s shortcomings – Cat doesn’t shy away from pointing out that we don’t have to judge other people, and if we do, we’d better judge ourselves with the same stroke.

She also doesn’t mind saying, “Duh.”  If someone writes in with the 75,000 reasons he doesn’t want to stay with his girlfriend, she’s going to tell him to leave.  If someone writes in saying she feels guilty because she spit on a dog, Cat will tell her to wash the dog and never do it again.  Pragmatism rules.

Plus, there’s the undeniable advice-column voyeurism that I can’t shake.  “Look how crazy that person is” meets “looks like everyone has weirder problems than me” meets “OMG who would say that??!”  I read Abby before I discovered Cat’s Call, but now…

Ms. TR’s Call:  Abby may give advice, but Cat preaches the gospel of kickass.

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